So many times in our fast-paced lives, we get busy “living” and we might appear to take our loved ones for granted. We don’t mean to ignore their needs or forget to tell them thank you, but we are so busy moving through our days, it just happens. If you have noticed this phenomenon occurring in your life and have felt that you need to concentrate more on improving relationships with those around you, a change in perspective may be in order. When you consciously make a decision to treasure the people in your life more with your words and actions, you may be surprised at how enjoyable it becomes to interact with those you love in a new way and how some small changes can reap big benefits in your relationships.

As you think about treasuring the people in your life, think of the those that have loved you just for being you, those that have loved you unconditionally, those that have shown you grace when you’ve made mistakes, those that have sacrificed for you, and those that have just been there with you to walk through the tough times. On the other hand, perhaps you feel that certain relationships haven’t been what you’ve wanted them to be lately. Maybe you’ve had some frustrations with others lately and it is difficult to think about showing them kindness. In that case, I often find that looking for the positive and seeking to treasure that which is good and healthy in those relationships, helps you see other frustrations differently and allows you to bridge the gaps between when things are going well and when they aren’t going so well. Remember though, as you seek to change your perspective and to treasure others around you more, these exercises are not about having others “return the favor.” Rather, they are about genuinely seeking to reach out and positively affect those around you. Understand that the difference these exercises make in your relationships may not be immediately clear in others’ responses, but they can be immediately impactful in your own heart.

How can you begin to show others that you treasure them? This list is by no means exhaustive, but here are a few ideas:

1. Tell others that you love them. This may seem obvious, but so many times we take these 3 little words for granted. We get busy with life and we just assume that others know we love them. Sure, that may be true, but we all need to hear it. Make it a point to say, “I love you” more often. That could mean making it a point to say it during a certain point in the day, like when your husband goes off to work, or when you are about to get off the phone with a friend. It could also mean taking the time to sit down with a loved one and just look him or her in the eye and say, “I want you to know that I love you.” Nothing more may need to be said. There is something very powerful about just saying those 3 words with emphasis and meaning behind them, and they can very much make someone feel treasured in your world.
2. Show others you love them through time spent together. Take time to just be present, to ask your loved ones how their day was, even just to sit quietly with them or to go for a walk together. Spending “quality time” doesn’t have to mean going somewhere and spending a lot of money. It can be as simple as turning off the TV and saying, “I was thinking about you today and wondering how your day went.” Treasuring others can also be conveyed through just taking the time to cry with them or sit with them silently when times are tough. You may surprised at how just being present in someone’s life can make him or her feel treasured by you.
3. Tell others what they mean to you. This may seem like it fits in under #1, but it is somewhat different. Take the time to tell others how they have influenced your life for the better, what qualities you like about them, what their presence has meant in daily activities and special memories.  Thank your loved ones for the ways they have been a part of your life, for the roles they have served, for the times they were there for you. Simply telling someone that you appreciate him or what good qualities you see in her can make that person’s day. Since we are mostly talking about the people who are closest to you, your words can mean a lot. When someone who knows us very well tells us that they notice our good qualities, often those comments seem so much more meaningful.  When you tell your loved ones the things that endear them most to you, they feel treasured just knowing that you appreciate them for who they are.
4. Write notes to tell others thank you. Taking the time to write a hand-written note conveys a lot. Just think about the times that you’ve gotten a thank you note or a kind letter from a friend in the mail. Didn’t that make you feel treasured to know that person would take the time to send you a note? If you don’t have a lot of time, emails are acceptable and can be very encouraging. But, if you can make the time, good, old-fashioned, hand-written notes really do make others feel treasured.
5. Do not let the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26). That is, address things that come between you and your loved ones as soon as possible. Part of treasuring those who mean so much to you is not allowing miscommunication and short-term frustrations to take root and become long-term chasms between you and your loved one. Maybe, as I mentioned above, you are at the place where short-term frustrations have already taken root and become bigger problems. If that is the case, some professional counseling sessions may be in order to help you get back on track. However, if you can address frustrations before they become larger issues, by taking them to your loved one in an assertive (non-aggressive) manner, you can show them that you treasure them by seeking to resolve matters as soon as possible. Before you go to talk with your loved one about your frustration, take the time to prepare yourself to hear his or her side of the story. Prepare your heart to be open and allow your loved one time to explain his or her point of view, so that you will not be tempted to jump into criticism and becoming defensive.
6. Make a point to do something special for others on occasion. Think of the things that your loved one most enjoys and mark your calendar to do that something special. This does not have to mean doing something expensive. It can be something as simple as making a special meal for your spouse or children or sending a card or small gift to a friend or other family member. Marking these plans on your calendar makes them easier to remember. Remember that even things that may seem like a very small gesture can do a lot to make others feel treasured.
7. Pray for the people in your life. Thank God and praise Him for your loved ones and the ways that He uses them to shape your character and make you more like Him. Pray for their needs and desires. Ask others how you can pray for them specifically. Perhaps more than any other thing on this list, praying for the people you love can show them that you truly treasure them deeply – enough to thank the Lord for the gift of walking through this life with them and enough to intercede on their behalf with the Creator.

As I said above, this list is not exhaustive and there are so many more ways that you can show others that you treasure them. Taking the time to shift your perspective and deliberately look at ways you can treasure your loved ones will probably lead to many more great ways that you can demonstrate your love for them. And, as 1 John 4:12 reminds us, “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

Casey West